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WILL SHE STAY OR WILL SHE GO

(sung to The Clash song, Should I Stay Or Should I Go)

Sarah you gotta let us know

Will you stay or will you go?
Can you make it there on time?
Your speech begins at ten to nine
You just have to let us know,
Will you make it to the show?

It’s always me, me, me
Yes, we agree to pay your fee
If you have a nerve attack,
Will you agree to pay us back?
You’ll be there with “Plumber Joe”
Is it “yes” or is it “no” ?

Will she stay or will she go now?
Will she stay or will she go now?
If she comes, we’ll pay her double
But she might stay inside her bubble
So come on and let us know

Her poor decisions boggle me
Palin’s such a mockery
Will the asylum set her free?
Is she under lock and key?
Come on now and let us know,
Is she brain-dead or just no-show?

(split)

Will she stay or will she go now?
Will she stay or will she go now?
If she goes, she’ll stir up trouble,
Or then her nerve pills might be doubled
We just hope that if she goes…
She pleases all the “Hong Kong Joes”

Will she stay or will she go now?
If she goes, she’ll stir up trouble,
And if she stays, laughs will be doubled
We just hope that if she goes
She wears some garish slutty clothes!!!

"I'm like, OK, God, if there is an open door for me somewhere, this is what I always pray, I'm like, don't let me miss the open door. Show me where the open door is." --Sarah Palin, on running for national office in the future, FOX News interview, Nov. 10, 2008

"Ohh, good, thank you, yes." --Sarah Palin, after a notorious Canadian prank caller complimented her on the documentary about her life, Hustler's "Nailin Paylin," Nov. 1, 2008 (Read more about the prank call, watch the video and see the transcript)

"We realize that more and more Americans are starting to see the light there and understand the contrast. And we talk a lot about, OK, we're confident that we're going to win on Tuesday, so from there, the first 100 days, how are we going to kick in the plan that will get this economy back on the right track and really shore up the strategies that we need over in Iraq and Iran to win these wars?" --Sarah Palin, suggesting we are at war with Iran, FOX News interview, Nov. 1, 2008

"If [the media] convince enough voters that that is negative campaigning, for me to call Barack Obama out on his associations then I don't know what the future of our country would be in terms of First Amendment rights and our ability to ask questions without fear of attacks by the mainstream media." --Sarah Palin, getting First Amendment rights backwards while suggesting that criticism of her is unconstitutional, radio interview with WMAL-AM, Oct. 31, 2008

"Absolutely not. I think that, if I were to give up and wave a white flag of surrender against some of the political shots that we've taken, that ... that would ... bring this whole ... I'm not doing this for naught." --Sarah Palin, asked about her plans for 2012 and whether she would disappear from the national political scene if she loses, ABC News interview, Oct. 29, 2008

"And Alaska -- we're set up, unlike other states in the union, where it's collectively Alaskans own the resources. So we share in the wealth when the development of these resources occurs. ... It's to maximize benefits for Alaskans, not an individual company, not some multinational somewhere, but for Alaskans." --Sarah Palin, explaining the windfall profits tax that she imposed on the oil industry in Alaska as a mechanism for ensuring that Alaskans "share in the wealth" generated by oil companies, New Yorker interview, Sept. 2008

"John McCain and I, and our camps, are working together to get John McCain elected." --Sarah Palin, denying reports that she is "going rogue" while suggesting there are separate Palin and McCain camps, Oct. 27, 2008

"[T]hey're in charge of the U.S. Senate so if they want to they can really get in there with the senators and make a lot of good policy changes that will make life better for Brandon and his family and his classroom." --Sarah Palin, getting the vice president's constitutional role wrong after being asked by a third grader what the vice president does, interview with NBC affiliate KUSA in Colorado, Oct. 21, 2008

"We believe that the best of America is not all in Washington, D.C. ...We believe that the best of America is in these small towns that we get to visit, and in these wonderful little pockets of what I call the real America, being here with all of you hard working very patriotic, um, very, um, pro-America areas of this great nation." --Sarah Palin, speaking at a fundraiser in Greensoboro, N.C., Oct. 16, 2008

"I like being here because it seems like here and in our last rally too -- other parts around this great Northwest -- here in New Hampshire you just get it." --Sarah Palin, Laconia, New Hampshire, Oct. 15, 2008

"I would hope at least that those protesters have the courage and the honor of thanking our veterans for giving them the right to protest!" --Sarah Palin, confusing supporters at a campaign rally who had shouted "We can't hear you!" and "Louder!", Richmond, Va., Oct. 13, 2008

"I'm very, very pleased to be cleared of any legal wrongdoing ... any hint of any kind of unethical activity there. Very pleased to be cleared of any of that." --Sarah Palin, after an Alaska legislative report found she had broken the state's ethics law and abused her power in the Troopergate scandal, conference call with Alaska reporters, Oct. 12, 2008

"They are also building schools for the Afghan children so that there is hope and opportunity in our neighboring country of Afghanistan." --Sarah Palin, speaking at a fundraiser in San Francisco, Oct. 5, 2008

"There's a place in Hell reserved for women who don't support other women." --Sarah Palin, misquoting former Secretary of State Madeline Albright, who said women should "help" other women," Carson, Caliif., Oct. 4, 2008

"I may not answer the questions that either the moderator or you want to hear, but I'm going to talk straight to the American people and let them know my track record also." --Sarah Palin, on not answering the questions in the vice presidential debate, St. Louis, Missouri, Oct. 2, 2008

"All of 'em, any of 'em that have been in front of me over all these years." --Sarah Palin, unable to name a single newspaper or magazine she reads, interview with Katie Couric, CBS News, Oct. 1, 2008 (Watch video clip)

"I'll try to find you some and I'll bring them to you." --Sarah Palin, asked by Katie Couric to cite specific examples of how John McCaiKatie Couric: "What other Supreme Court decisions do you disagree with?"

Sarah Palin: "Well, let's see. There's --of course --in the great history of America rulings there have been rulings, there's never going to be absolute consensus by every American. And there are -- those issues, again, like Roe v Wade where I believe are best held on a state level and addressed there. So you know -- going through the history of America, there would be others but--"

Couric: "Can you think of any?"

Palin: "Well, I could think of -- of any again, that could be best dealt with on a more local level. Maybe I would take issue with. But you know, as mayor, and then as governor and even as a Vice President, if I'm so privileged to serve, wouldn't be in a position of changing those things but in supporting the law of the land as it reads today." --unable to name any Supreme Court decisions other than Roe v. Wade, CBS News interview, Oct. 1, 2008 (Watch video clip)

"Well, it certainly does because our -- our next door neighbors are foreign countries. They're in the state that I am the executive of. And there in Russia ... We have trade missions back and forth. We-- we do-- it's very important when you consider even national security issues with Russia as Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where-- where do they go? It's Alaska. It's just right over the border. It is-- from Alaska that we send those out to make sure that an eye is being kept on this very powerful nation, Russia, because they are right there. They are right next to-- to our state." --Sarah Palin, asked by Katie Couric how Alaska's proximity to Russia gives her foreign policy experience, CBS News interview, Sept. 24, 2008 (Watch video clip)

"But ultimately what the bailout does is help those who are concerned about the healthcare reform that is needed to help shore up our economy." --Sarah Palin, explaining the $700 billion government bailout of Wall Street to Karie Couric, CBS News interview, Sept. 24, 2008

"I'm the mayor, I can do whatever I want until the courts tell me I can't.'" --Sarah Palin, as quoted by former City Council Member Nick Carney, after he raised objections about the $50,000 she spent renovating the mayor's office without approval of the city council

"That's exactly what we're going to do in a Palin and McCain administration." --Sarah Palin, elevating herself to the top of the ticket, Cedar Rapids, Iowa, Sept. 18, 2008 (Watch video clip)

"I watched with the volume all the way down. I thought it was hilarious. I thought she was spot on. ... It was hilarious. Again, didn't hear a word she said, but the visual, spot on." --Sarah Palin, on Tina Fey's "SNL" skit interview on FOX News's "Hannity & Colmes," Sept. 17, 2008

"Oil and coal? Of course, it's a fungible commodity and they don't flag, you know, the molecules, where it's going and where it's not. But in the sense of the Congress today, they know that there are very, very hungry domestic markets that need that oil first. So, I believe that what Congress is going to do, also, is not to allow the export bans to such a degree that it's Americans that get stuck to holding the bag without the energy source that is produced here, pumped here. It's got to flow into our domestic markets first." --Sarah Palin, billed by John McCain as the nation's foremost expert on energy, clumsily answering a question while speaking off the cuff at a town hall meeting, Grand Rapids, Michigan, Sept. 17, 2008

"The fact is that Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac have gotten too big and too expensive to the taxpayers." --Sarah Palin, on the two companies which are in fact private entities, Colorado Springs, CO, Sept. 13, 2008

"They're our next door neighbors and you can actually see Russia from land here in Alaska, from an island in Alaska." --Sarah Palin, on her foreign policy insights into Russia, ABC News interview, Sept. 11, 2008

"Nucular." --Sarah Palin, mispronouncing the word "nuclear" twice, ABC News interview, Sept. 11, 2008

"Perhaps so." --Sarah Palin, when asked if we may need to go to war with Russia because of the Georgia crisis, ABC News interview, Sept. 11, 2008

"I have not, and I think if you go back in history and if you ask that question of many vice presidents, they may have the same answer that I just gave you." --Sarah Palin, after being asked if she had never met a foreign head of state, despite the fact that every vice president in the last 32 years had met a foreign head of state prior to taking office, ABC News interview, Sept. 11, 2008

"In what respect, Charlie?" --Sarah Palin, after being asked if she agreed with the Bush Doctrine, ABC News interview, Sept. 11, 2008 (Watch the raw, unedited video)

"Let me speak specifically about a credential that I do bring to this table, Charlie, and that's with the energy independence that I've been working on for these years as the governor of this state that produces nearly 20 percent of the U.S. domestic supply of energy." --Sarah Palin, misstating the actual amount of energy produced by Alaska, which is only 3.5 percent, Sept. 11, 2008 (Watch the raw, unedited video)

"You'll be there to defend the innocents from the enemies who planned and carried out and rejoiced in the deaths of thousands of Americans." --Sarah Palin, linking the Iraq war the 9/11 attacks while addressing U.S. soldiers shipping off to Iraq, Fairbanks, Alaska, Sept. 11, 2008

"I told the Congress, 'Thanks, but no thanks,' on that Bridge to Nowhere." --Sarah Palin, who was for the Bridge to Nowhere before she was against it, multiple

"We grow good people in our small towns, with honesty and sincerity and dignity." --Sarah Palin, in her speech at the Republican Convention, quoting the fascist right-wing columnist Westbrook Pegler, an avowed racist and anti-Semite who once expressed his hope that Robert F. Kennedy would be assassinated

"Absolutely. Yup, yup." --Sarah Palin after being asked by People magazine if she was ready to be a heartbeat away from the presidency

"It's great to see another part of the country." --Sarah Palin, campaigning in Pennsylvania, Aug. 2008
n has pushed for more regulation in his 26 years in the Senate, CBS News interview, Sept. 24, 2008 (Watch video clip)

"As for that VP talk all the time, I'll tell you, I still can't answer that question until somebody answers for me what is it exactly that the VP does every day?" --Sarah Palin, interview with CNBC's "Kudlow & Co", July 2008 (Watch video clip)

"I've been so focused on state government, I haven't really focused much on the war in Iraq." --Sarah Palin, interview with Alaska Business Monthly, March 2007

"Pray for our military men and women who are striving to do what is right. Also, for this country, that our leaders, our national leaders, are sending soldiers out on a task that is from God. That's what we have to make sure that we're praying for, that there is a plan and that that plan is God's plan." --Sarah Pailn, on the Iraq war, speaking to students at the Wasilla Assembly of God, June 2008 (Watch video clip)

"I think God's will has to be done in unifying people and companies to get that gas line built, so pray for that." --Sarah Palin, on the $30 billion national gas pipeline project that she wanted built in the state, speaking to students the Wasilla Assembly of God, June 2008 (Watch video clip)

"A changing environment will affect Alaska more than any other state, because of our location. I'm not one though who would attribute it to being man-made." --Sarah Palin, dismissing global warming as influenced by human activity, Newsmax interview, Aug. 2008

"We need to come to the defense of Southeast Alaska when proposals are on the table like the bridge and not allow the spinmeisters to turn this project or any other into something that's so negative." --Sarah Palin, on the Bridge to Nowhere, interview with the Ketchikan Daily News, Oct. 2006

"And our congressional delegation, God bless 'em. They do a great job for us. Representative Don Young, especially God bless him, with transportation -- Alaska did so well under the very basic provisions of the transportation act that he wrote just a couple of years ago. We had a nice bump there. We're very, very fortunate to receive the largesse that Don Young was able to put together for Alaska." --Sarah Palin, on federal pork and earmarks secured by Rep. Don Young (R-AK) (Watch video clip)

"When I hear a statement like that coming from a woman candidate with any kind of perceived whine about that excess criticism, or maybe a sharper microscope put on her, I think, 'Man, that doesn't do us any good, women in politics, or women in general, trying to progress this country." --Sarah Palin, on complaints from Hillary Clinton's campaign about sexist coverage, Spring 2008

"Yes, the explicit sex-ed programs will not find my support." --Sarah Palin, declaring her support for abstinence-only education in a questionnaire during her 2006 gubernatorial race

"What would your response be if I asked you to remove some books from the collection?" --Sarah Palin, inquiring with Wasilla librarian Mary Ellen Emmons about banning books right after taking office in 1996

~Compiled by Daniel Kurtzman

• Palin Falls for Prank Call (Masked Avengers)
• SNL Mocks Sarah Palin (NBC)
• Sarah Palin, By the Numbers (Huffington Post)
• McCain and Palin's 25 Most Laughable Quotes (Huffington Post)
• Palin as President (PalinAsPresident.us)
• The Vet Who Did Not Vet (YouTube)
• Sarah Palin Disney Trailer (College Humor)
• 'Hey Sarah Palin' Song (YouTube)
• Election Trains (Fark)
• Sarah Palin Gender Card (Daily Show)
• Sarah Palin Quotes Generator (palinquotes.sillycloud.com)
• Sarah Palin: A Woman Who Forces Every American to Ask "Why Aren't I Running For President?" (23/6)