Friday, June 12, 2009

What Are Your Palin White House Headlines?


Palin's sourpuss persona has gone from tolerably absurd to grossly delusional. As a small example, on the (extended version) Today Show Matt Lauer interview she called on women's groups and "all the male groups" to "riot...start rising up" to protest TV comedian David Letterman, and called for Letterman to apologize to "young women across the country". How she decided during this crusade that most young girls have "have such low self esteem in America" I'm not sure, but she gets away with nonsense assertions like this one because all the other stuff she blows at us is so much nuttier.

For the present, it's best to retain a sense of humor about her and have faith in the basic common sense of the American people - the people that put a reasonable person in the White House during the last election.

No one can possibly believe Palin would be the right choice to handle high level negotiations at an international level. Imagine the daily headlines if Palin ever manages to party-crash her way into real power:


PALIN FEUDS WITH CARLA BRUNI DURING SARKOZY VISIT - States "There's a Place In Hell Reserved For Women Who Upstage Other Women"

MIDEAST IGNITES AS PALIN BLAMES AHMADINEJAD FOR MISSED MEETING


"PUTIN IS A PERVERT" STATES PALIN

QUEEN MIFFED AT PALIN'S REFUSAL TO COMMIT TO STATE DINNER

INTERNATIONAL SUMMIT POSTPONED TO FIT PALIN'S SCHEDULE

PALIN FEUDS WITH GOD, TEAM SARAH CALLS FOR BOYCOTT

DISAPPEARANCE OF JOHNSTON FAMILY - STILL A MYSTERY

WILLOW'S TRIPLETS - Tribble, Truck and Prick!!! ONLY IN PEOPLE MAGAZINE! AND TIME, USA TODAY, VANITY FAIR, WIRED, GOLF DIGEST, MAXIM...


LETTERMAN TREASON TRIAL BEGINS


Many of these headlines could be quite possible with Palin the the WHouse. And here's one that takes a small leap of imagination, but who knows?

ALIENS FIRE ON PALIN WHITE HOUSE,
WORLD CELEBRATES


Imaginative or chillingly possible, What Are Your Palin White House Headlines? Let us know in comments, and vote on Bad Sarah's next nickname - "Sourpuss Palin" or "Sarahpuss"

44 comments:

Anonymous said...

howsabout,

"BRISTOL AND A-ROD HONEYMOON AT YANKEE STADIUM"

"COALE APPOINTED SURGEON GENERAL - AIMS FOR MENTAL HEALTH SYSTEM OVERHAUL"

RITA said...

Palin and North Korean Dictator Get On Surprisingly Well!

Anonymous said...

Palin Creates Secretary Of Humor Position To Monitor Jokes

hennypenny said...

LOL

here's a couple:

PALIN SOLVES IMMIGRATION ISSUES: MEXICANS REFUSE TO STEP FOOT IN US

PALIN PICKS FIGHT WITH ENTIRE EASTERN SEABOARD REGION - SAYS "THERE IS A CLASS ISSUE HERE"

Anonymous said...

FOX DECLARED ONLY OFFICIAL AMERICAN NEWS STATION

jo said...

1000s Continue Mass Exit Moving Out of the USA They Can't Stand Living Under a Palin Regime

No place in the World Feared Safe with Palin as POTUS. One Wrong Word and She Will Destroy Us All

not that sarah said...

Palin Plagiarizes Hitler in "Peace" Speech to Iraq, denies "borrowing" from Hitler, Demands he retract accusation, is Poutraged when told he is unavailable for comment, attacks Germany just because.

not that sarah said...

"Real Americans" Get License to Kill all Non-Real Americans, at their own Discretion (and/or what God says, via Palin). Must be registered Palin voter to qualify as "Real American".

CandyCrackers said...

Palin's Education Reform Bill - Science Finally To Be Phased Out Of The Classroom

jewby said...

PRIME MINISTER OF ISREAL MAKES HISTORIC ANOUNCEMENT: PLEADS WITH PALIN NOT TO HELP ANYMORE

Anonymous said...

not so much a headline, maybe a televisions special...

-When Blogging Was Legal: A Look Back-

KaJo said...

Palin Invades Canada to Arrest "Masked Avenger" DJs, Who Resist Arrest, Are Killed in Firefight -- Martial Law Declared

Palin Coup Wins TransCanada Natural Gas Pipeline -- This Time By Force

Palin Forces Deportation of Quebecois Back to France -- Says It's Not Natural to Not Speak English

Anon said...

Palin Blames All Natural Disasters, Break Up Of Beatles and disappearance of McRib sandwiches on The Media.

regina said...

"I'm the President, I'll bomb any country I want until the courts tell me I can't!"

Anonymous said...

President Palin Bans The Study of Ethics In Our Schools

the problem child said...

Department of Interior Rebranded as "Department of Huntin', Fishin', and Drillin'"

No Child Left Behind Act Revamped to Provide for Per Diems, Absenteeism

Helen said...

LIPSTICK SUDDENLY VERY UNFASHIONABLE

Anonymous said...

PALIN CHALLENGES MAHER TO ARM WRESTLING ON PAY PER VIEW

DW said...

Palin Bans "Wind In The Willows" Stating She Will Not Tolerate Any Sexual References To Her Daughter

regina said...

President Palin to move Russia to New Jersey so she can see it from the White House

People magazine EXCLUSIVE! Piper Palin goes back to school for the first time since the primaries! Photos!

Former President Obama indicted for bringing peace to the world

Anonymous said...

President Palin bans all Democrats from this site, Twitter, facebook, Huffington, etc. and etc.

Anonymous said...

PALIN TO MODEL AT FASHION WEEK NYC INSTEAD OF STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS- All previous broadcasts to be pre-empted.

Anonymous said...

PALIN BEGS KLUM TO HOST PROJECT RUNWAY FROM THE WHITE HOUSE

FightingLib said...

CHINA AND INDIA WITHDRAW FROM UN - SAYS US INSISTENCE ON ABSTINENCE PROGRAMS "UNREALISTIC"

espresso4me said...

Palin designates Yahoo as Official White House Email

New Law: Neiman Marcus, Sak’s Fifth Avenue, Nordstrom’s Provides Palin Unlimited Access at Taxpayer’s Expense

Palin Declares Education Non-Essential Burden on Taxpayers, Children: Eighth Grade Maximum Limit Imposed

Palin Signs Bill to Discontinue Funding Libraries Effective Immediately

Palin Declares Blogging Illegal: Maximum Fines and Imprisonment Applied

Official White House Portrait Features Palin Field-Dressing a Moose

Helen said...

Love the comments everyone!

gOOdNplentY said...

REV MUTHEE SET FOR NASA MISSION: WILL RID THE MOON OF WITCHES

Anonymous said...

Madam Palin Accessorizes: Now ALL White House Phones To Be Red!

Helen via AKPetMom said...

Opposition Leaders McCain and Jindal Complain "The Only Platform Palin Has Now Is Platform Shoes"

Anonymous said...

White House Wedding Bells: Palin invites Letterman to Bristol's Wedding

In a related story: Hell Freezes Over

Verbose said...

JESUS REFUSES TO RETURN TO EARTH, SAYING THAT PALIN "SCARES THE S**T OUT OF ME"

(Election 2012): PALIN CHOOSES JOHN COALE AS RUNNING MATE AFTER EVERYONE WITH ANY QUALIFICATIONS OR CREDIBILITY REFUSES

US CAPITAL MOVED FROM DC TO WASILLA

BILL MAHER STILL ON THE RUN AFTER JOKE ABOUT WILLOW'S PREGNANCY; AWARD UPPED TO $50 MILLION

DAY FORTY OF WAR WITH IRAN, SYRIA, NORTH KOREA, RUSSIA, GERMANY, FRANCE, UK, AND PALAU: DETAILS INSIDE

Anonymous said...

This one isn't so funny...

PALIN'S NEW PLAN CONCENTRATES NATIVE ALASKANS INTO "ENERGY CAMPS" TO WORK FOR BIG OIL - CALLS IT "THE FINAL SOLUTION" TO WINTER HEATING OIL COMPLAINTS

Anonymous said...

Michelle Bachmann Named Sec of State of Palin Administration

testiclease said...

Palin/McCain Ticket Headline

Vice-president Palin names President McCain Ambassador to Viet-Nam

Anonymous said...

President Palin's spokesperson, Rebecca Mansour, admits to being brainwashed, leaves podium sobbing.

(Not a headline, but food for thought: exactly who does pay for that website? Writing all those articles and doing fresh posts must take a while).

President Palin missing, thought to be running the TransAm Highway.

President Palin found in love nest with former Governor Sandford. "He is my soulmate" she cried!

President Palin holds meetings in White House despite protest from representatives of Protestant, Catholic, Jewish, Muslim, Hindu and Buddhist religions.

Helen said...

Hey Anon! love the Sanford soul mate headline

did you mean "President Palin holds Evangelical prayer witch hunt Joel's Army I am Deborah End Times and _______ meetings in White House despite protests from..."?

Anonymous said...

Helen: I was thinking more along the lines of Sanford's spiritual advisor, Cubby Culbertson's Prayer Boot Camp for Married Couples, held in May, which really worked out well for the Sanfords. (He took off to see sweetie after 4 sessions).

Headlines: President Palin resigns office, turning power over to VP Michelle Bachman.

Former President Palin signs multi-million deal to star in Fox reality show/news program. (When asked for a quote, Sarah said, "They had me at wardrobe allowance.")

Helen said...

::chuckle chuckle:: and smile on my face ; )

PALIN RESIGNS IN FAVOR OF VP BACHMAN...ooohhh the sting, the pain, THE END TIMES!

Anonymous said...

President Palin fights off grizzly bears with her bare hands. Story follows below:

"It's only a flesh wound," said President Sarah, bravely fighting off tears. "I don't need stitches; I'll just wash it off." Then turning to the Secret Service she whispered, "This will be our secret. I don't want the public to idolize me any more than they do already." President Palin concluded by saying, "I'll bet that former President Obama couldn't wrestle a bear." A side note; grizzly bear stew will be on the menu at tomorrow's State Dinner held in honor of the newly formed independent country of Northern Alaska.

jEDI said...

"PALIN SUPPORTERS MAKE THE CASE THAT A BIG APE COULD PLAY OBAMA IN A MOVIE"

Oh, that just actually did happen:

http://breepalin.blogspot.com/2009/07/who-made-faux-sarahpac-video-or-sarah.html

Anonymous said...

President Palin announces her resignation effective today.

Global warming spark strange weather world wide; icebergs crash into Alaska.

Farmers in Iowa report Flying Pigs

Anonymous said...

President Palin First Interview After 28 Months in Office, Describes Strategy behind Quitting as Governor to Throw Everyone Off Base

Helen said...

LOLlol Anons, you are right on time with those, but Anon 5:18...let me enjoy this a little, I just found out! ; )

Verbose said...

PALIN CANCELS 2016 ELECTION